Hi, I’m Maria.
And I went from being the shyest kid in school to living life on my own terms.
Now I’m on a journey to find my spark (and help you find yours too)
For the longest time, I felt invisible.
Not in a dramatic “I want attention” kind of way…
but in that quiet, painful but also secure way where you feel like you’re totally invisible and alone in the world… like you’re actually not IN the world, or at least not in the world others seem to experience.
I was insecure. Super Shy. And actually “the shyest kid my teacher has ever seen” (that’s what she said, teaching for over 20 years). And school was honestly one of the hardest places for me to exist.
I had this constant fear of being put on the spot.
Of having to speak up. Of doing something wrong. Of being seen.
And what made it even harder was the feeling that I didn’t really have friends who understood me. I felt alone. Like I didn’t belong anywhere.
If I could go back and talk to that younger version of me, I think I’d just take her by the hand and say:
💛 “The future will be very different.”
💛 “Your tribe is waiting for you.”
💛 “Life will get easier… and it will actually become amazing.”
💛 “And one day you’ll realize you can choose who you want to be.”
Because back then, I didn’t know that.
I thought life was just… hard.
And that I was just… not enough.
Why was I the shyest kid in school?
For most of my first 20 years, I genuinely felt like something was wrong with me.
I often had bad grades.
My writing would go completely off-topic.
I couldn’t focus on subjects I wasn’t interested in. I couldn’t listen. Couldn’t follow conversations…
And I didn’t know why.
I just thought:
“I’m stupid.”
“I can’t do this.”
“Other people are smarter.”“I’m lazy.”
“Why is everything harder for me?”
Turns out… I wasn’t stupid.
I was different. My brain was different.
And I didn’t even have the words for it yet.
My first brave step… was leaving
When I turned 18, I went to Spain as an au pair.
And I swear… that experience cracked something open inside of me.
For the first time, I realized:
✨ “Wait… I can do more than I think.”
I studied hard and consistently and learned to speak Spanish within 3 months.
Three months. 😭🔥
And that might not sound like a huge deal to someone else…
but to me, it was proof.
Proof that I wasn’t “incapable.”
I wasn’t broken.
I wasn’t dumb.
I just couldn’t thrive in a system that didn’t fit my brain.
That was one of the first moments where I started rebuilding something I didn’t even know I had lost: self-trust … and the first spark of real confidence. 💛✨
The 9-to-5 that drained the life out of me
I followed the system and did what everyone expected from me. I studied… and somehow I survived it 😅 How? Don’t ask me. That’s a story for another time.
Then I got a job as a financial analyst and controller. And in my very first role, I was put into a highly responsible position as a complete newbie. I was overwhelmed from day one…
And it felt like being thrown into deep water and expected to swim.
I wasn’t working 9 to 5.
It was more like 8 to 8.
Stress became normal and often too much.
Pressure became normal and draining.
Feeling overwhelmed became just a feeling of numbness and apathy.
And eventually, my body started showing me what I didn’t want to admit yet.
I started getting skin issues. My skin literally started to peel off…
And that was a huge turning point for me, because I realized:
💥 “Something had to dramatically change”
💥 “I couldn’t do this any more.”
💥 “Something else was right for me, even though I don’t know what”
At the beginning, I felt so scared… but also excited and extremely relieved when I turned in my resignation!
Then I discovered the startup world…
And suddenly I saw a whole new reality.
A world that felt exciting.
Self-reliant.
Full of opportunity.
Full of people building their own path.
And it gave me something I hadn’t felt in a long time:
Hope.
The ADHD discovery that changed everything
I read a book about ADHD… and it hit me like a lightning bolt.
It felt like the author had been watching my whole life:
The glasses I found in the fridge. The conversations I couldn’t follow. The impulsivity when I felt excited about something. Interrupting people (even if I tried not to, but it was just impossible to hold back my excitement and impatience and the fact that I knew what they wanted to say after the first few words).
I still remember thinking:
“Wait… this is what is going on with me.”
For the first time, I had an explanation.I finally understood why I had all those problems and why I had issues finding or keeping friends. I started recognizing ADHD behavior and patterns in my life, and instead of judging myself, I started understanding myself and have compassion for myself. And that’s where I realized:
💛 I wasn’t stupid.
💛 I wasn’t broken or lazy.
💛 I was just different.
And that difference could actually be something positive.
Maybe even a superpower.That was the moment I stopped trying to “fix myself”…
and started learning how to work with myself.
Books became my first mentors 📚✨
One of the biggest shifts in my life was discovering self-development.
I started reading again, and suddenly I entered a whole new world.
A world full of answers nobody ever taught me.
Books were my first mentors.
Then YouTube videos.
Then podcasts.
And for the first time, I listened to kind, empowering people who spoke about life, growth, healing, mindset, dreams…
And it felt like I had finally found the guidance I was always missing.
Looking back, I think growing up as a warm-blooded Polish girl inside a colder, more unfriendly German culture didn’t help either 😅
I always had so much heart… but I didn’t feel like it had space to exist.
Self-development gave me that space and opened up a whole new world where my healing journey finally began.
Travel healed the way I saw life (and myself)
Traveling became another huge teacher for me.
Because when you grow up feeling alone, insecure, and surrounded by judgement you can start believing the world is cold.
But meeting people from different cultures, open to listen, to help and to just be kind showed me something really beautiful:
✨ The world is not as unkind and cold as I thought.
✨ Life can be fun.
✨ People can be warm.
✨ You can reinvent yourself.
✨ You can choose your life.
Travel made me feel alive again.
It reminded me that life isn’t supposed to be a waiting room. It is meant to be crazy, exciting and full of new experiences and learnings.
And that’s exactly why I’m creating the Bucket List Adventures Club 🌍✨
Because I believe life is meant to feel exciting, joyful, and shared with people who truly support and uplift you. This club is for anyone who wants to find their spark again, reconnect with who they are, and start living their bucket list, together, with encouragement, accountability, and a whole lot of inspiration.
💛Follow my journey on Instagram: @marias100adventures to learn more.